Ambushed, part VI

Phil woke in a darkened room. He was lying in a bed. He had no idea where he was. There were beeps all around. Somewhere, he could hear talking. A door opened, and a woman in blue walked in.

"He's awake!" she called into the hall, and came to his side. "How are you feeling, Mr. Dundermann?"

Phil shut his eyes tightly and opened them again. "Where am I? What happened?"

The nurse was checking his pulse. "You were in a very bad car accident. You've been unconscious for the last five months. This is the hospital."

"Unconscious?" asked Phil, trying to remember. He could remember standing on Frank's porch, looking at his house, with that taxi...then he couldn't remember anything else. He certainly didn't remember a car crash, though that taxi ride was miraculously accident free.

"Was I ever...I mean, have you heard of a show called Ambush?" Phil asked.

The nurse shook her head. "I don't really watch much TV," she said, then walked out of the room.

Phil rested his head on the pillow. If he had been in a car accident, then it stood to reason that the whole Ambush! fiasco had been a very very bad dream. He could accept that. No way could people be that cruel to...

The lights turned on, the walls lifted, and Phil saw that he was not in a hospital room at all, but right smack in the middle of a roller skating rink. People began skating around him as "Dancing Queen" started playing over the PA system. Confetti was falling from the ceiling, and Phil saw a huge banner that said, "SURPRISE! YOU'VE BEEN AMBUSHED!" And everyone was laughing.
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Phil disguised himself, and attended the taping of the season finale for Ambush! The entire episode was dedicated to him. They started out with a recap of the restaurant prank, and an interview with Harvey Rossel saying they had really just picked Phil randomly. However, they were so happy with his reaction, they decided to see just how far they could push him, which led to the parking garage prank. They had towed Phil's car from place to place. During this prank, the attendant had swiped Phil's keys, and they had made a quick copy of his house key. They showed the redecorating prank, along with pictures of Phil fast asleep in bed, unaware that anyone was filming him.

After that, they showed his latest mishaps, along with explanations of how each was pulled off. The package prank was the easiest to do, partly because it was such an old joke. In the elevator, the original plan was to have them get stuck and Phil deliver the baby (the woman was Harvey Rossel's wife, and really was pregnant). But Phil had called them on it, so they went to Plan B - deny pregnancy and just play with the elevator. The taxi stunt was, of course, the most elaborate prank Ambushed! had ever attempted, and it worked beautifully. They hired ten stunt taxi drivers, assuming (correctly) that Phil would be suspicious and probably wouldn't take the first few that went by. All other taxis in town had been instructed not to pick him up. The taxi driver had driven to a part of town that had been sectioned off to accomodate the car chase. No one had been injured, all crashes were planned, and the effect, when seen on film, was very striking.

Of course, there were plenty of shots of Phil looking bemused and bewildered through the whole thing. It was explained that the fainting episode Phil experienced was unplanned, but since he appeared to be OK (just overstressed), they decided to pull one final prank on him...the waking up in the fake hospital.

After all had been shown, Harvey Rossel told the audience that they were retiring old Phil from the show. No no, he said when the crowd booed a little. Phil was a good sport, and a good guy, and it was time he got left alone. The show ended, and everyone left.

Phil didn't believe it. He knew this was a ploy to get his defenses down. He knew they would be after him again. They may wait a few months, but they'd be back. This was now personal. There was only one way to stop the madness, and Phil had a plan.

NEXT: A New Victim