Ambushed, part I

Phil was mad. He had been sitting in this stupid restaurant for over an hour. He had tried to get the waiter's attention several times. The waiter had taken his order forty-five minutes ago, and still had not brought Phil his water. Phil was this close to leaving. He didn't need this. He had places to go, people to see, a job to do.

Finally, he succeeded in getting the waiter's attention. "May I help you?" asked the waiter, a gawky kid with a nametag that read "Raymond".

"I ordered practically an hour ago," snapped Phil. "What's taking so long?"

"What did you order again?" asked Raymond.

"A hamburger, no mayonnaise or pickles, cooked medium rare, and a glass of water," Phil replied.

"Did you want fried with that?" asked Raymond.

"YES I WANT FRIES WITH THAT!" cried Phil, a lot louder than he intended. People were looking at him. He lowered his voice. "Listen," he said, "if I haven't gotten my food in the next five minutes, I'm leaving."

"Without paying?" asked Raymond.

"There's nothing to pay for!" hissed Phil.

"OK, fine, sir," Raymond said. His tone suggested that he was not at all pleased with Phil's attitude. Raymond walked away, and Raymond waited.

Five minutes passed. Nothing. He stood to go, then Raymond walked up with a plate of food. "Here you are, sir."

Phil looked at it. This was not a hamburger, no mayonnaise or pickles, cooked medium rare, fries, and a glass of water. This was a chicken sandwhich, burnt to a crisp, extra pickles and mayonnaise, cole slaw, and no water.

Rage boiled beneath Phil's usually calm exterior, but he just managed to keep it in check. "I want to see the manager," he said in a deadly whisper.

Raymond's eager smile faltered, but he nodded, set down the food, and left. Phil sat and seethed. Fifteen minutes passed. Finally, a man in a tie came out. "Raymond says there's a problem?" the man asked.

"You could say that," Phil replied. "I ordered a medium rare hamburger. This appears to be a very well done chicken. I ordered it with no mayonnaise or pickles, but as you can see, that's practically all I got. I ordered it with fries, and this appears to be cole slaw instead. Also, I ordered a cup of water, but as you can see, I haven't even gotten a substitute for that."

The manager's face fell. He turned to Raymond and snarled, "Get the man what he ordered!" Raymond quickly ran to the back and appeared moments later with a glass of water. "I'm so sorry," said the manager. "There will be no charge for the water."

That was it. Phil blew up. He screamed, jumped around, cursed, upended tables, threatened, jumped some more, and finally, as he was taking a breath, he noticed that everyone was smiling.

"Surprise!" said the manager. "You've been Ambushed!" And he pointed to a hidden camera in the potted plant near Phil's table.

Confetti fell from the ceiling, everyone laughed and applauded, and Phil laughed too, trying to show what a good sport he was. Ambush was a new hidden camera show, and apparently Phil was its most recent victim.

When his episode premiered, Phil didn't go into work for a week. He changed his number, shut all the blinds, and tried desperately to wish that it had never happened. Even went he went into work, he still had to endure all kinds of ridicule. However, it eventually died away, and Phil vowed to never get suckered into anything like that again.

NEXT: Wishful Thinking